Friday!

Today we went to the Heurigen. Which is a word that means, "Go to the edge of the city where the vineyards are and eat free food and cheap wine."

After it stopped pouring, it was just really cold. It was still very lovely and we had fun drinking with our teachers and classmates. I had Traubensaft - which should translate to grape juice, but it was more like grape cider.

The view from my dorm

Kaasgrabengasse - Kaas-trench-alley

Thursday 14

Today we learned about the Imperial Vienna. It feels like we are learning the Viennese history backwards. We went to the treasury, where the royal jewels and crowns and robes are. It was cool and very pretty, and the unicorn horn relics were a bit odd.

The Holy Roman Pimp Hat

...from a tender age, Napolean II was eternally plauged by his mysterious fear of bronze eagles

The Holy Roman Huge Emerald 

The Holy Roman Creepy Thing

The Holy Roman Portrait of Jesus During His Malraia Affliction - made with hummingbird feathers

Holy Roman Portrait of Mary with Severe Lazy Eyes

The Holy Roman Lion-Eating-A-Camel Coronation Robe

Holy Roman Look-at-mah-Bling Hat

Holy Roman Murder Impliment 

Holy Roman Unicorn Horn

The Holy Roman Dead-Golden-Sheep Club

Speaking of the Hapsburgs, the last one, Otto, died about the time we arrived. I have no idea if the American news would over such a thing, but the funeral is on Saturday and it will be a huge deal here. He and his wife, who died last year, will be buried in the Hapsburg crypt.

Speak of the devil; we also got to go into the crypts beneath St. Michael’s Church, where many of the wealthier people were buried. I was thoroughly uncomfortable, because there were several coffins open for tours to see, because they had accidentally created perfect mummies in this crypt.

Also, we decided to all split a thing of laundry detergent for the month. But Hillary bought it… and after we had all done our washing, realized it was actually fabric softener… And today during the tour, she was putting on “sunscreen” and the tour guide asked, “What are you doing that for? That’s for after you get sunburn…”

So we need to brush up on our German advertisement vocabulary…

Btw – the weather was much cooler and windy today. And it was kind enough to wait until 8:30 to start this super-loud, echo-y, lightning storm. Anna, now I know exactly what you meant about the blinding-thru-the-curtains lightning

Mittwoch 13.

J Happy Record-Breaking Heat Day here in Vienna J

Today we toured the Brewery in Vienna, called Ottakringer. I was thinking, “Beer = cold, dark cellar… better than being outside or in the hot dorm. Yeah that sounds fun…”

But apparently the beer has to be something having to do with keeping the room 38.5 degrees Celsius. Nobody understood most of the tour, because at temperatures upwards of 35 degrees, all the language parts of the brain shut off – except the universal “free beer” radar, it’s ALWAYS on…

I bet it tastes bad...

It was only 10 C down here :)

Everyone else was thinking, “Where in der Hölle is this free beer I was promised???” and I, naturally, was thinking, “What a lovely conglomerate floor they have. I wonder if they’d let me drip acid all over and/or rub my teeth on it…”

They gave us coupons for four free drinks, so naturally I had a beer and three Pepsi. I had a sip of a red something made with caramel hops, but it was “generic beer taste” nasty. I liked the Johannisbeere Bier – which is 2% alcohol and 98% currant berry juice.

The Austria Flag

During the Crusades some Duke (who may or may not be famous… I missed the name) had his people wear a uniform, presumably because he was tired of weed-whacking his own people. So the army wore long white robes and a thick leather belt to hold the sword. At the end of the day, once they had fought and helped all the wounded, their white was totally blood-soaked red, but when they took the belt off, there was still a white stripe…

You'll never look at it the same way again...

12. Juli - Dienstag

Today in history class, we learned about something the Viennese call "Golden Autumn." It's the end of the monarchy leading up to the World Wars. Mostly we looked at the Parliament building:

This is the Vienna University where all the most famous people leave their  faces lying around

They are all men, but there's a Ladies Day, where they put pictures of the important women  around, and everyone dresses the busts up... apparently Marble Schroedinger had a little too much fun :)

There was a Geocache in one of the busts heads.

No, really, his head's hollow...

Dear Sigmund, both your thought-provoking and creepy-weird quotes are sacred to the Viennese. No where else do art museums emphasis all the numerous phallic symbols and repressed sexual confusions of its most revered painters...  

This is where they filmed some 3 Musketeers movie, with Charlie Sheen, Chris O'Donnell and  some Sutherland guy...
This, the City Hall of Vienna, was supposed to be Notre Dame... And Tim Curry was standing on the Theater across the street...

This is the best geo-cache in the world... can you see it?

This is the Parliament building

This is Athena, who is supposed to  give her wisdom to the politicians. But as the Wiener  say, "She  has her back turned, so she doesn't have to watch" (her hands are full, so she can't facepalm...)

This is the garden, where it was slightly cooler, and very pretty

This is the wife of Emperor Franz Joesph I, Sisi 

Apparently she wasn't muched loved in her time, but they made a movie and it's kinda a big deal here 

Apparently this thing with the super-large statue of a horse on only two legs is a  big deal...  There are chains and counterweights all the way to the ground, through the foundation. The same artist tried again with another horse and failed.... and literally died of a broken heart, or so goes the story.

Silly American tourists, with your silly I-don't-wanna-walk-machines...

This is the allegedly famous place that Hitler did a thing and it was important, and if the American Public Education System hadn't failed me, I would know what this event was... But there is a lovely two-headed Eagle...

This puppy had the right idea, apparently it was record-breaking 35 C heat...

The First Weekend

I haven't posted much the past few days for a few reasons.
1) the weather has been lame and uncooperative.
2) the weather has made me feel lame and sluggish.
3) the weather has impeded my access to the free wifi.
and 4) nothing's been going on anyway.

So i just wanted to let y'all know I'm alive and everything. Tomorrow should be more interesting :)

Donnerstag 7.

Today we learned about "Red Vienna" And the time before/during/ after WWI. Vienna was actually the envy of the European world following the War. in 1919, one year after the fighting ended, was the first time women were allowed to vote in the general election (mostly because all the young men were dead). you vote for the party here, not one specific candidate - and they picked the Social Democrats. It's a little confusing because the Austria "Conservatives" are equal to the American Left and Right Wing is still Right wing, and Nazis = Tea Party.

Anyway, the Social Democrats pushed the idea that the country could only be powerful if the working class was healthy, happy and therefore, productive. They build apartments for the workers and people can still live in them super-cheap. It's designed as a scary fortress outside, but every room has access to the beautiful gardens and even a private bathroom.

This is the Incinerator. it provides the entire city heating and cooling power. it was designed in the 1950's by a whack-job named "Hundertwasser" (which translates to Seven Seas).  Apparently he had an issue with conformity...

Yes, that's supposed to be blood. Like I said, "Whack-job"

This is the public baths build in the 1920 - 1930's for the workers. Instead of being grey and lame, they specifically made their buildings beautiful and had fancy, expensive furnishings to make the factory workers feel as important as the establishment. 

Only for the Lower Classes

So, this went on beautifully until 1934, when a guy lead the formerly wealthy, gun-toting, Christian-zealots to revolt. They didn't really care that this system was really good for 75% of the population, they were more miffed that their 25% had the same taxes as everyone else. And since they were wealthy and gun-toting, they were widely successful... that is until the guy got shot in 1938. By then Hitler was already into power.

Austrian Green Lantern - like a boss

Also, in the evening, we went to the three famous art museums. It was ... ya'know... museum-y. I don't have any pictures, but I can say for certain that Salvador Dali was seriously demented. (and everything in his paintings are phallic symbols - apparently - even the lobster and the rotary telephone...)

In one case the little plaque said, "And this painting artfully displays how Dali viewed blah bla-blah blah... artistic genius.... deep and meaningful...."

And I'm like, "No, that's a painting of a fat woman having her breasts cut off with a fork and a disembodied arm... It's straight-up disturbed..."

Maybe I *hipster voice* just don't GET it